Tuesday, 18 June 2019

Monday Starts on Saturday

There's one thing I've learned for sure in the past couple of years - Soviet science fiction writers Boris and Arkady Strugatsky had a true talent for naming their books. Roadside Picnic, Hard to be a God, The Snail on the Slope: every one of them is memorable and intriguing, drawing you in to experience the usually excellent stories that follow. Monday Starts on Saturday is no exception, and it goes further than just being a neat phrase; encapsulating each of the separate parts of what turned out to be my favourite Strugatsky novel to date, and probably one of my top five books of all time.

Monday Starts on Saturday is written in triptych form, three loosely connected and bizarre stories that represent the brothers' most inventive and entertaining writing. As the novel opens, our hero Alexander Privalov is on his way across Russia to visit some friends. He never gets there. After picking up some mysterious but friendly hitchhikers he finds himself staying in a town that becomes increasingly impossible to leave - a situation that feels distinctly Kafkaesque at first but quickly dives further into absurdism. This establishes the world and, such as they are, rules of the book, a world where nothing is certain and Monday could indeed start on Saturday, with Alexander repeatedly finding himself transported about in the house of the old woman who takes him in with no knowledge of his movements and being kept awake at night by the fact that the house grows legs and walks around... the woman apparently being the living embodiment of the legendary Baba Yaga figure of Russian folklore. Things only get more weird from there as he meets a talking fish who is annoyed that she seems destined to live forever - the first of many genuinely funny passages - and is plagued by a coin that always seems to return to him after he spends it.

His possession of the coin eventually gets him in trouble with the local authorities, and this leads into the second story, where the novel properly comes into its own. The local authorities, it turns out, work for NITWITT - the National Institute for the Technology of Witchcraft and Thaumaturgy - and Privalov, a computer programmer by training, is offered a job there. There follows a relentless bombardment of satire, one-liners and dissection of myths and legends from around the world. The characters come thick and fast, each more outlandish than the last: from the government officials who attempt to control the institute with no scientific training of their own, to the researchers applying the scientific method to magical pursuits such as alchemy and the search for eternal life. England's own Merlin gets a look in, portrayed as a droning old nerd who spends his time predicting the weather - partly by magic, mostly by listening to forecasts on the radio. I'm sure there's a lot that I missed here: parodies and caricatures of Soviet state figures and the bureaucracy they were so fond of that will probably only be appreciated by those who lived in the country in the 1970s. But it matters little, because the humour does find a wider audience, in its gentle and ultimately admiring lampooning of the world of academia and the people who devote their lives to increasingly obscure studies. Or those who game the system to earn themselves fame and fortune, like Alexander's uncultured colleague Vybegallo, whose experiments, while wholly unscientific, never fail to draw media interest. As for the concept of Monday starting on Saturday here, it applies to the scientists' work ethic - Alexander is left in charge of the institute on New Year's Eve, expecting the place to be deserted, but instead it's busier than ever as his colleagues flock back from their parties to do what they truly enjoy - working and researching. The Strugatskys even do a great job capturing that kind of friendship of shared professional experience that you can only feel with close co-workers.

The third story carries on at the institute, and is more straightforward science fiction, as Alexander and some of his new friends try to solve the mystery of how their director seems to be two separate people, but still only one, and how his (their?) pet parrot seems to have come back to life. The solution again plays on the concept inspired by the book's absurd title, and proves a genuine mind-bender. This section also offers up a gently mocking critique of sci-fi literature, Privalov volunteering as a test subject and finding himself transported into a future generated literally from the predictions of the genre; he finds it by turns boringly detailed and frustratingly slow.

It all sounds quite highbrow, but Monday Starts on Saturday never gets too heavy - at the end of the day it's a book about wizards and talking animals and people who can fly and walk through walls without thinking about it. And there's room for the likes of vampires, gnomes, demons and unicorns - all reappropriated into a professional or scientific context for comedic effect. I know I've gone on about the humour, but it honestly is one of the funniest books I've read, on par with the best - Catch-22, Slaughterhouse Five, Infinite Jest - in its twists and turns of language. A spectacular effort that I'm sure I'll read many more times over the course of my life.

5/5

Science!




Wednesday, 5 June 2019

Kill 'Em All

The John Niven mini-festival comes to an end with his 2017 novel Kill 'Em All, the third and, I suspect, last to feature his appallingly brilliant creation Steven Stelfox. Following on from events in Kill Your Friends and The Second Coming, Stelfox has achieved pretty much all that there is to achieve in the music industry, having made hundreds of millions as the face of the TV talent show that drove the plot of The Second Coming and now semi-retired, working occasional missions as an industry consultant and problem solver. But he's still not quite satisfied - for all the luxury and debauchery that his life entitles him to, there's always someone out there with a bigger yacht...

Kill 'Em All is billed as the sequel to Kill Your Friends, but differs significantly in its narrative technique and focus. While Niven's debut read more like an interior-monologue rant about everything Stelfox perceived to be wrong with the world, Kill 'Em All jumps from character to character, switching up its prose style in the process. As such, Steven isn't granted quite as much free rein to attack - although since his scorn is mostly directed at people worse off than him, and since that's now basically everyone, that may not be a bad thing. Instead, we're given a much more plot-driven book, following the tribulations of Lucius Du Pre, once the world's biggest pop star but now broke, reclusive and hopelessly addicted to prescription medication. Any similarities to real persons living or dead are of course purely coincidental, but he lives in a mansion complex called Narnia, has had repeated surgeries to change his skin colour and spends his ample free time hosting "sleepovers" for pre-teen boys, so you can draw your own conclusions as to who the inspiration may have been. Anyway, Lucius' reckless spending habits have left his record label in debt, and he's in no state to enter the comeback tour that might help earn something back. On top of that, the parents of one of his young companions have managed to acquire some pretty damning video evidence against him, which needs to be made to disappear - just think of the shareholders.

Head of Du Pre's label is James Trellick, who appeared in Kill Your Friends as Steven's lawyer co-worker and the closest thing he had to an actual friend, and so Steven is called in to sort things out. From there the plot spirals outwards in an increasingly ridiculous manner, taking in blackmail upon blackmail, a palace in the desert, conspiracy theories and perhaps the most over-powered professional hitman ever committed to paper. It's just all a bit silly and overblown, the action sequences in particular border on laughable, and Niven ultimately has to give up trying to resolve things in a catastrophically weak ending that manages to be both predictable and disappointing. Unlikable characters abound, none of whom quite manage to tip over into Stelfox's territory of subversive admirability.

All serious issues with the book, and they keep it from being anything like as good as Kill Your Friends in my eyes. Yet there's just something about Niven's writing that kept me crawling back for more - all of which, really, can be found in those interior monologue passages where Stelfox lays waste to everything and everyone. And while Kill Your Friends was a nice reminder of a moment in time at the end of the last century, Kill 'Em All is a relentless, brutal dissection of the world we live in now. From Trump to Brexit, ISIS to insider trading, nothing is safe from Niven's satirical barbs, a cascade of one-liners leaving the reader in tears of laughter and then tears of despair. Because Stelfox loves it all - after all, it's all making him even richer - but for the rest of us it's just another reminder that the gap - any gap you would care to name - is growing. You can call Niven cynical, but there's no denying that he's uncomfortably right about a lot of things.

So as weak as the plot of Kill 'Em All might be, it actually works better if you don't read it as a story at all. If Niven were to delve into non-fiction writing, that is certainly where I'd head next with his work.

4/5

The book's title is a reference to Metallica's debut album, and this has to be the most appropriate track from it: